September 14, 2026, Personal

A few days ago, I during the night I felt the presence of my close relative who asked me to keep his identity private. This was unusual because normally I cannot sense where he is. He passed away more than 20 years ago.  I’ve seen my mother, my step-mother and other relatives, and I can tell that they are peacefully abiding. It seems in general that those who served others – cooking, washing dishes, going to work, shoveling snow, caring for children, doing what God has placed in front of them as a responsibility – fare relatively well in the afterlife, regardless of religion or spiritual pursuits. At least that is what I have observed.

But when I saw my relative, he looked tired. In this life on earth, he was often intellectually restless and physically traveling a lot from country to country and project to project. He was a brilliant man who knew ten languages. Now he looked fatigued and worn out. It seems he had been roaming from realm to realm in search of something, unlike the other relatives I’ve seen who seem to abide in a stable space. He made a comment to me that I looked different from most people he had seen still here on earth, that most people look solid but I looked semi-transparent, more like angels look. This was not to imply I was like an angel spiritually but just a visual observation. I explained to him that this might be because I spend a lot of time open to and communicating with the other world, with one foot in the other world, so to speak, as quite a few spiritually oriented people do.

He also looked different – encrusted with contaminants is all I can think to call it. These encrustations sticking to him were the consequences of wrong actions or we might say bad karma. These were things like selfish decisions, abandonment of wife and young child, killing other people’s pets because they were inconvenient to him, and at times looking down on others. Perhaps it turns out that high levels of intelligence and education are not necessarily that helpful in the afterlife. It may be that arrogance and selfishness are among the worst of traits, because they close your heart to others. At the same time, I know my relative was very religious. We human beings are complicated.

Then I began to pray for him, to pray for Jesus’ white healing light to heal him of his fatigue and encrustrations. But to my surprise, it seemed that the bright healing white light of Jesus while purifying his adhesions also caused him pain, as if they were burning off.  So I stopped that particular prayer and just prayed in general for his well being, to stop searching the realms and just be in one place and open his heart to God, come what may.

Then another night again I prayed again for Jesus to heal my relative’s obstacles and encrustations. Again I saw that as the white light hit the adhesions, they burned off in purification, but this was very painful for him. It seemed to be a healing and purification process, but to be honest I don’t know. And it occurred to me that this might be what is meant by “hellfire” – not a place called hell, but a painful process of burning off negative consequences or we might say bad karma.

What I gather from this visit and from visits with my mother, step-mother, grandmother and others is that what the Buddhists call Limbo and the Christians call Purgatory is actually true, an intermediate stage of some kind after death. The Christians say that only we living human beings can help those in purgatory by offering prayers, and Buddhists sometimes liberate trapped birds or animals to offer meritorious karma for those who have died or offer other kinds of ceremonies. And I gather most of all that empathy and keeping our hearts open to others, helping where we can, simple ordinary daily acts of service, and avoiding selfishness and arrogance are indeed important on the spiritual path, as teachers have taught us for centuries.

On a lighter note, I also recently had a visit from my cat Kiki who passed away two years ago exactly. She lived to be 17 years old, and in her later years she developed a brain tumor that affected her coordination. Sadly it was difficult for her to walk, and if she tried to jump into her favorite chair she would fall back to the floor. I placed some steps by the bed so she could come up, but even that became too difficult. Very sadly, I had to make the decision to let the vet put her to sleep, and I cried for days afterwards.

A few nights ago she came to visit in my sleep. She showed me that she feels good in her body again and her legs work like they are supposed to. She said she spends a lot of time in my backyard, and sometimes takes naps in different spots there. She wanted me to know that she is fine and all is well. She knows we have another cat in the house, but that’s OK because she knows we need that.

At church I offered prayers for my relatives who have passed on, and I felt prompted to pray for all the children who have died, especially those killed in wars, conflict zones, famines, epidemics, and other forms of misery. Let us offer prayers for all those currently afflicted in this life as well, and do whatever we can to help and to let them know they are not alone. Amen.