October 9, 2024

Today at contemplative prayer group, I arrived feeling quite irked by difficulties with home repairs and insurance claims being denied and by the long to-do list of tedious tasks when I would much prefer creative activities and studies.  As we sat, I began to feel that I was being told that right now I’m like a hatchling, a baby bird breaking out of its shell, still wet, and feeling very awkward.  The air feels chilly compared to the comfort of the egg, and my movements are uncoordinated.  But the bird dries off and fluffs up, and gets accustomed to walking.  This is a sense of shifting my priorities from work to creative efforts like writing, videography, and art.  I was reminded of how I was when I was in high school, when I felt confident in my creative work, and I was reminded to return to that state of mind.

Holding Jesus in my heart and repeating “Jesu” as my sacred word in centering prayer, I again got the sense of incubation, but this time incubating Jesus in my heart.  The meaning was of nurturing Jesus in my heart, to give birth to Jesus within me, which in turn means being reborn as Jesus in a sense, just as baptism means being born anew in Jesus.  When we give birth to Jesus in our heart, we are reborn in Jesus.

Then I saw Jesus above and before me, and I was receiving reassuring messages about my current plans.  He reminded me that he too spent a lot of time in boats on the sea, and he too was a carpenter.  He reminded me that he was not a scholar.  He said that he did not always stay in houses or synagogues or places of worship, nor do I have to limit myself in that way.

Finally I began to see Jesus with a spear or staff in his left hand with a flag or pennant on it flapping briskly in the breeze. In his right hand he held a brightly shining sharp sword raised high, and he was riding a horse and charging forward with great energy.  I believe he was showing how to deal with obstacles.  The image was not aggressive, it was more like he was showing great energy riding on the wind. Perhaps all the wind had to do with the hurricane too.  It reminded me of Tibetan Buddhist imagery.  Then the session ended.